The Path to Happiness
How Happiness is not the same as pleasure!
My work in the area of happiness has motivated me to offer my online course The Habit of Happiness, supporting people in creating the inner container, capable of experiencing more real happiness. The truth is, we all want more pleasure, we are hard-wired to seek out, to give and to receive pleasure. I am not talking about a short-term distraction, but rather a sustainable sense of healthy long-term fulfillment, joy, and happiness. Reclaiming a sense of wonder about our sensuality, our aesthetic sensibility, our sexuality, our pleasure and the miracles that love allows.
By rebalancing and harmonizing our energetic system, we reinforce our wiring to support us in finding our internal peace and fulfillment, affording us the possibility of connecting with ourselves, our partners, with nature, and with society, in a way that establishes connection, bonding, satisfaction, and a profound sense of peace. By expanding our internal energetic pleasure container, we reinforce ourselves and strengthen our opportunity, to experience more joy, feel more pleasure and embody the benefits of a system flooded with the biochemistry of sustainable happiness When our system is balanced and harmonized, we arrive into a state of coherence, internal harmony, and alignment that allows us to have clarity, wisdom inner peace and sustainable pleasure.
Romantic love is our strongest drive, yet it is impossible to sustain, as we would be unable to focus on getting our work done. Our bodies build up a tolerance to this chemistry, and then, as we all know, the feelings of passionate love loses strength over time. In the lust stage, we release estrogen and testosterone, in the second attraction stage, romantic love, is driven by dopamine and norepinephrine, the pleasure and excitement chemicals. The attachment stage is driven by oxytocin, (which women produce in higher quantities supported by estrogen) creating this bonding chemical and experience, and Vasopressin, which men produce more readily, causing jealousy and the desire to protect the connection, by attachment and bonding. Excitement and pleasure remain high in Oxytocin bonded couples.
There is a natural bonding and connection that occurs in the giving and receiving of pleasure in partnership, more intensely felt and physically enjoyed in sexuality but present in all forms of touching, in this even, fair exchange of energy we all seek the satisfaction and pleasure experienced in the times of connection, exchange, and bonding. We are capable of recreating this state any time that we choose, finally freeing us from the slavery of our chemistry and placing our happiness firmly in our own hands . The path to happiness and the practices contained in my online course The Habit of happiness teaches you how to do this.
It is interesting to note here that, when we have gone through emotional pain, loss, and heartbreak we produce more endorphins which lead to a lower production of oxytocin, which compromises our ability to bond perpetuating a negative spiral of loss, hurt, rejection, and emotional pain. When we raise this biochemical reactivity up to the level of conscious choice, we are finally able to make our own creative choices in relation to happiness, love, pleasure, and partnership even in time of difficulty. loss and rejection.
As we, as a society, liberate from the male dominant model of relating, that built its foundation on the lie that women (eve) are inherently untrustworthy, and we expand into a model of equality, where both men and women can be trusted to support and empower each other, we set the stage for a greater experience of pleasure, connection and love. Breaking free of the war of the sexes we allow for the vulnerability necessary to ask for what we truly want and need so that our deepest needs can be met, by ourselves, our partners and ultimately by the constructs of society that we demand. This communication establishes an opportunity for us to connect in the most satisfying ways, bringing about a state of internal peace that supports that external possibility.
We are living in very interesting times, that contain the exact right conditions for us to transform and break free of the structures that no longer serve us or reflect where we are in our conscious evolution. I am hopeful that we have finally arrived at a place where we may allow ourselves to give and receive more real happiness. Understanding that we can take individual responsibility, and exercise our power of choice, for building and strengthen the internal container, we all already possess for love, pleasure, aliveness, and satisfaction.
This living energetic container is already established within our bodies, in our nadis, meridians and chakras, our energetic system. As we create deeper, cleaner more profound connection with this system, we support ourselves, each other, and society, to realize it’s highest potential for pleasure. Yes, our society may still eroticize male sexual domination, but there is an awakening to the fact that this model leaves everyone dissatisfied, and not getting their needs met. The art of exchanging pleasure has a spiritual dimension and a pathway to raising consciousness, if we look to early history, we see that the priestesses were often involved in supporting the kings in arriving at wisdom through the art of sacred sexuality, a pathway of igniting and sustaining the experience of pleasure.
There is no longer a need to vilify women as the carnal or dangerous temptress, or men as the aggressor, but an opportunity to appreciate the gifts that each partner brings to the table, in an attempt to heal the illusions and misperceptions propagated by a fearful misguided societal model that simply does not work. We are all seeking bonds forged through love and trust rather through fear or force. Dominator sexuality and pleasure is an obstacle to both personal and social health. The time is now ripe for a new relationship paradigm that is rooted in our true essential nature, that is all about getting our needs for connection, love and pleasure met.
Both sex and spirituality have historically been drastically altered during times of chaos, dislocation, and restructuring. The tantric traditional rite of maithuna is to awaken the kundalini, often identified with Shakti energy, the creative power of the goddess. In these practices the man connects with this divine feminine energy through giving the female sensual and sexual pleasure, helping to sustain the ecstatic experience for both. In fact, it’s sole purpose through prolonged and exquisite sensation is the spiritual experience of ecstasy, which supports the pathway to enlightenment.
Originally in India, the infinity symbol represents the equality of the male and female through sexual union, leading to wholeness and infinity. In the animal kingdom, it has been discovered that female coalitions are necessary to avoid male dominance and aggression. It is time for us, as women, to come together in sisterhood to support the rising of the feminine, to allow for a new model of relationship based on pleasure, equality, partnership, and cooperation. Human sexuality is a help, not a hindrance, towards our spiritual evolution and the cultivation and right relationship to pleasure is a pathway to enlightenment, along with ensuring the perpetuation of the species.
I am interesting a presenting a holistic perspective and approach to pleasure and vitality and health. By learning to connect to the bodies energy centers, you find out how to open your inner channel of light and pleasure by illuminating and removing any and all obstructions of thought and emotion stored in the chakras. These obstacles can dilute or numb down your sensation, and your connection to your vitality and aliveness. When awakened you can realize your full pleasure potential, achieving a synergistic combination of sexuality and spirituality.
This biochemistry is a consequence, not a cause of behavior, doing the The Habit of Happiness course supports you in using positive memory and imagination to create the emotional frequency that you want to occupy, and create the biochemistry of your choosing. This knowledge liberates you to know yourself as the creator of your behavior, your physical reality, and your life. Science is useful in showing us the effect of these chemicals, but it is within our spiritual awakening, that we discover how to be at cause to these emotions so that we are then free to choose our behaviors. By consciously and consistently, choosing to occupy this state of happiness that supports coherence, we demonstrate our emotional mastery, and finally, come to know the truth of our creative potential.